I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I will be naked everywhere
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
