Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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