You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
