I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
