you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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