Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
