Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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