Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I sprained my soul last night
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
