i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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