We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
