grandma shit on top of the toilet
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
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So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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