she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
