Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Randomize
