Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize