He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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