im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
