Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize