Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
