there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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