You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
