my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
