All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
