He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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