those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize