No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
