isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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