They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
