i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize