Princesses don't give blow jobs
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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