Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
