goodnight i made you a song goodbye
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
