So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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