Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize