i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
