Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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