He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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