please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
