I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
