i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
