why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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