it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Randomize
