A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
