I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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