if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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