They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
