She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
