He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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