after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
FUCK WHALES
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
