hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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