quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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