as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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