i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
