ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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