We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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