A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hate all girls vehemently.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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