im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We have so much sex to catch up on
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
And then he peed in my hair
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