I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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