Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
